A guy is suing multiple women for talking about him in an 'Are We Dating the Same Guy?' Facebook group

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By Christianna Silva  on 
A man peaks out from behind a poster of himself on Facebook.
A guy is suing Facebook and a bunch of women for the 'Are We Dating the Same Guy' Facebook group Credit: Mashable illustration / Bob Al-Greene

Private Facebook groups can be the most fun places to exist online — but they can also be a bit dangerous.

The "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook group is a page designed for women who date men to get references on their male partners, warn other women about "red flags," and see if they're dating the same guy. But that page is a lot less fun if you're one of the guys. So much less fun that one of the aforementioned guys is suing.

Nikko D'Ambrosio, a Chicago man, is suing 27 women, one man, and multiple social media platforms including Meta for "false and defamatory statements." While the Facebook group describes itself as a "Red Flag Awareness group across the country where women can empower each other and keep each other safe from toxic men," the complaint filed last week in the District Court for the Northern District of Illinois alleges that it maintains "a platform to permit women to anonymously dox, defame, and attack the moral character of men they've met online."

D'Ambrosio went on a few dates and had consensual sex with a defendant — a relationship the complaint calls "unremarkable." She posted him in the group asking for info from other women. In response, some women called him "very clingy" and a "psycho." One woman said they went out but he ghosted her after they slept together. He and his attorneys asked the defendant to delete the post, and she did. But, the complaint alleges, she reposted it under an anonymous handle.

He is seeking $75,000 and also to stop the defendants from continuing to post in the "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook page, Business Insider reported.

No one outside the group is ever supposed to know about the goings on inside the group — but, as it is the internet, that hasn't stopped them. Nothing said in these posts is verifiable, and, as we know, the posts themselves can have an effect on a person's reputation, which, as Mashable previously reported, "seems to be the whole point, for better or worse."

It's not clear how this suit will play out, but it'll be interesting to see who is held accountable for what is said in private groups online — and what kind of effect this will have on public speech and safety on social media.

Topics Facebook Meta

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Christianna Silva
Senior Culture Reporter

Christianna Silva is a Senior Culture Reporter at Mashable. They write about tech and digital culture, with a focus on Facebook and Instagram. Before joining Mashable, they worked as an editor at NPR and MTV News, a reporter at Teen Vogue and VICE News, and as a stablehand at a mini-horse farm. You can follow them on Twitter @christianna_j.


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